New Orleans deserves better. Much better.
Though we are a satirical entity that aims to make people laugh and think, we are also locals, who, like many of you, have struggled to make it through these past few days since the New Orleans New Year’s Day Attack. The weight of this tragedy has consumed us, making it hard to focus on much else. We felt we had to address this because it’s been on our minds and hearts, just as it’s been on yours.
This isn’t a rant, but a heartfelt vent from locals who care deeply about this city and want to see it thrive.
We can’t stop thinking about the names, faces, and stories of those whose lives were cut so tragically short in this senseless attack. Over these unbearably long days, we’ve seen their pictures and heard their stories. They had dreams, families, and futures.
We hold them, their families, and their friends in our hearts and prayers. But our grief is not just grief, it’s a complex, boiling mix of sadness, anger, and frustration. We’re heartbroken for the lives lost and the families shattered, but we’re also furious at the systemic failures.
The unanswered questions about why security bollards were in the process of being repaired during a critical time of year and others security measures sat collecting dust in storage are yet another glaring example of the systemic failures that continually plague our city. It raises a question we know too well: why do so many critical systems and the leaders responsible for them fail us when we need them most?
While we’ve celebrated many successful events and milestones in the past and are incredibly thankful for them mostly going off without a hitch, we must also confront the warnings authorities gave years ago. The French Quarter was deemed an at-risk target for terrorism and was a concern that municipal officials “must address.”
This led to the original barriers as part of a broader $40M public safety package unveiled in 2016 by Mayor Landrieu after similar vehicle attacks that year, namely a gunman who drove a truck into a crowd celebrating Bastille Day in the French city of Nice, killing 86 people and wounding many more in a terrorist attack claimed by the Islamic State. Then similar car attacks in Berlin, London, New York and Barcelona.
Turbines that break down before storms and for months at a time. Pumps that falter in even light rain. Traffic lights that flicker or fail, some still broken since Hurricane Ida. Miles of interstate lights left dark until the “Super Bowl glow-up.” An electric grid seemingly allergic to reliability. Roads and sidewalks “under construction” for so long they grow jungles. Water systems that leave us under frequent boil advisories. Buildings collapsing without warning.
Schools failing. A derelict skyscraper that continually drops debris to the street below and closes thoroughways. Garbage service that is paid for but seldomly picked up. And politicians who excel at spin or touting climate expertise but can’t deliver real solutions to improve the everyday lives of their constituents.
It’s an unending laundry list of dysfunction that’s become all too familiar, so familiar, in fact, that many of us greet each new failure with a resigned shrug and a bitter laugh. “Oh, New Orleans 😜,” we say, as though it’s normal, as though it’s simply the price of living in one of the world’s most culturally rich and unique cities.
Because despite all its flaws, this city is undeniably beautiful, and its people are like no other.
But it’s not normal. It’s not okay. And it’s certainly not acceptable.
We’ve grown numb to the incompetence, corruption, and neglect that have come to define “the New Orleans way.” We’ve allowed ourselves to believe that broken systems are just part of the city’s charm, that potholes, power outages, and bureaucratic gridlock are quirks we should endure.
They’re not quirks. They’re failures.
We deserve a city where infrastructure functions as it should, where safety measures actually protect us, and where leadership is proactive rather than reactive. We deserve a city that values its people enough to fix what’s broken, not just patch it up for the next big event.
Is this pie in the sky, the kind of vision everyone wishes for their hometowns? Maybe so, but we have to start somewhere by demanding better.
And while we’re constantly told about our “amazing resilience,” and yes, we are beyond abso-frickin-lutely resilient, we’re tired of hearing it. Resilience should not be what defines us. It’s not a badge of honor we want to wear anymore. We love New Orleans too much to keep accepting “resilience” as a consolation prize for neglect and failure.
To those who argue the attack would have happened even if Bourbon Street had been secured, that’s not the point. The fact remains: it should have been secured. Let’s not fool ourselves, this city has a long-standing record of being reactive, not proactive, and Bourbon Street is a glaring example.
If the most internationally recognized street in our “tourist town” isn’t fully protected during a major event, what chance does the rest of the city have? Yes, the attacker could have turned down another street or found another way, but when we don’t even use the tools at our disposal, tools specifically designed to keep us safe and we pay millions of dollars for, and instead let them gather dust in a storage yard where leadership isn’t even fully aware of them, what the hell are we doing?
We deserve a city where people can live their lives without constant struggle. Where safety systems actually work. Where infrastructure functions as promised. And where leadership delivers real results, not just excuses.
We can’t shrug this off with another “Oh, New Orleans 😜.” That’s not good enough. It’s not okay. We have to demand more, not just for ourselves, but for those who were taken from us far too soon.
We owe it to them. We owe it to their families. We owe it to every single person who has loved and fought for this city despite all its flaws.
Because “Oh, New Orleans 😜” isn’t cute anymore. It’s a cry for help. And it’s time we answered it. We all love this city too much not to.
We know the issues can feel overwhelming, but we can take the first steps together. Contact your local representatives to demand real solutions and action, join community organizations advocating for change, and make your voice heard in local elections while pressing candidates with the hard questions they get uncomfortable speaking on. Volunteer. Donate. Give blood. We need to expect more but we also all have the capacity to do more.
Let’s work toward the New Orleans we all deserve, one step at a time.
🕯Martin Bech, 27, New York, NY
🕯Terrence Kennedy, 63, New Orleans, LA
🕯Elliot Wilkinson, 40, Slidell, LA
🕯William Dimaio, 25, Holmdel, NJ
🕯Edward Pettifer, 31, London, England
🕯LaTasha Polk, 47, New Orleans, LA
🕯Andrew Dauphin, 26, Montgomery, AL
🕯Kareem Badawi, 18, Baton Rouge, LA
🕯Brandon Taylor, 43, Harvey, LA
🕯Hubert Gauthreaux, 21, Gretna, LA
🕯Matthew Tenedorio, 25, Picayune, MS
🕯Ni’kyra Dedeaux, 18, Gulfport, MS
🕯Nicole Perez, 27, Metairie, LA
🕯Reggie Hunter, 37, Prairieville, LA
These are the 14 lives tragically lost in the New Year’s Day terrorist attack. Hold them, and all those still grappling with the aftermath, close to your heart. Let us honor their lives, cherish their stories, and remember the dreams that were so senselessly cut short.
💔⚜️❤️🩹
𝗘𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗠𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗘𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗢𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗣𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘆
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