Despite high wind warnings, City of New Orleans officials have announced that Mardi Gras parades will still roll, but in a “modified, safety-conscious, and wind-resistant” format—which, after several adjustments, now closely resembles a small, loosely organized gathering near a float.
🚨 Zulu will now begin and end at the same intersection, ensuring an efficient celebration with minimal movement.
🚨 Rex will roll a historic 40 feet before stopping entirely for “parade appreciation time.”
“We’re committed to keeping Mardi Gras traditions alive while prioritizing public safety,” said a city official speaking on the condition of anonymity in case all hell breaks loose. “Just in a way that requires significantly less parading.”
Other key adjustments include:
🔹 Marching bands and dance teams will now perform from the safety of their own homes. If you listen closely at their designated times, you may hear them playing in the distance, carried by the wind.
🔹 Truck floats have been relocated to the confines of the Morial Convention Center, where visitors can walk by and admire them at their own pace in a wind-free environment.
🔹 No beads or coconuts…throws now consist of a friendly wave and encouraging eye contact.
🔹 Floats will still be present but will remain parked with anchors and straps to “mitigate wind-related drift.”
City officials maintain that this new, highly efficient Mardi Gras format balances tradition with safety, ensuring the spirit of Carnival lives on, even if the parades technically don’t.
🚨 Officials encourage residents to stay tuned for further updates, as parade routes, schedules, and definitions of the word ‘parade’ remain subject to change.
