After successfully blocking the City Council’s attempt to ground her travel habits, Mayor LaToya Cantrell has reportedly caught the attention of Southwest Airlines, which sees her as the perfect face for its famous “Wanna Get Away” fares. Recognizing her unmatched dedication to getting out of town at a moment’s notice, the airline is now offering her the role of national spokesperson—a move insiders say was “an obvious choice.”
“We couldn’t think of a more perfect representative,” said a Southwest marketing executive. “No one embodies the spirit of ‘Wanna Get Away’ more than Mayor Cantrell. She has proven she will go to extraordinary lengths to keep traveling. Whether it’s dodging political backlash or just getting some fresh air far, far from New Orleans, she’s the ultimate frequent flyer.”
Mayor Cantrell Lands Exclusive ‘Mayor Mode’ Travel Perks
To sweeten the deal, Southwest has created an exclusive, one-of-a-kind “Mayor Mode” travel status—just for Cantrell. The special designation guarantees her a seat on any flight with no questions asked and ensures she never has to worry about mundane inconveniences like flight availability, booking restrictions, or public accountability.
While Southwest still doesn’t offer first class, the airline personally assured Cantrell that “Mayor Mode” would still be far more comfortable than sitting through another budget meeting.
Though details of the deal remain largely public, sources inside the mayor’s office have hinted at a few additional perks Cantrell has been trying to keep quiet. These allegedly include priority pre-boarding even before families with small children, a private “exit strategy hotline” for booking last-minute flights when things get too political, and an exclusive in-flight seating area where she won’t be disturbed by ‘unnecessary constituent complaints.’ Southwest has neither confirmed nor denied the existence of these benefits.
Wheels up! Mayor Cantrell heads off on yet another “urgent city business” trip at an undisclosed location, conveniently far from City Hall—just as her travel ban fight takes off back home. As usual, the press release is expected to land shortly after she does.
City Council Attempts Compromise
While Cantrell is celebrating her new gig, the New Orleans City Council is scrambling for damage control. In response, they’ve introduced a revised travel ban compromise that would allow taxpayer-funded trips only if booked on Spirit Airlines, a move one council member described as “a necessary deterrent.”
“Look, we’re not saying she can’t travel,” said one council member. “We’re just saying she has to do it like a regular person—with delays, tight legroom, hours-long layovers, and the full Spirit Airlines experience. The city will pay for her travel, as long as it’s on an airline where the pilot might also be the baggage handler. If it’s really for city business, she won’t mind a little turbulence.”
Cantrell’s office has already filed an appeal, arguing that forcing her to fly Spirit constitutes “cruel and unusual punishment.”
Legal experts anticipate the mayor will continue to challenge the City Council’s compromise—by refusing to compromise. At press time, Cantrell was spotted at Louis Armstrong Airport, clutching a boarding pass with one hand and a fresh legal brief with the other.
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